Entangled

For the 2nd night in a row, i've been crying myself to sleep... Over what? I don't really know... I just... felt very useless... Its a horrible feeling inside of me n i don't understand it at all... Thats why I say everybody don't understand me... Hell... I don't even understand myself...

Sis got 2 job offers... Thats great! She has such lofty ambitions n goals for herself... Then I start thinking about myself... I don't even know what I want to do... my results are deteriorating, I kant speak well, I don't know what I want to do in the future, Its almost like I have no future...

I'm someone who likes to fix things, to make things work, to build stuff, to help someone(without having to talk much). I feel good if I pack up my room, or sweep the floor clean, or make something on my own...I've such simple wishes.. maybe i'm suited to be a simple person.
I hate living in such a complicated world... Its a vicious society. To each his own. Know what... I think i'm becoming like that... and that's really HORRIBLE... I'm becoming a selfish idiot who only cares bout herself. Hmm.. maybe not totally... I guess I really do care about my family n friends... Just... I'm so peeved if they accomplish more than me. Haha.. damn petty n narrow.

Well.. thats it for now. Got lots more to complain next time.